Not many people are aware of how much impact low self esteem can have on a person's life. Having low self worth can greatly decrease the quality of your life in general--it can stop you from building healthy and happy relationships; it can rob you of a stable and fulfilling career and can put you at risk of developing behavioral and mental illnesses. I personally have experienced some of these consequences; in fact, they were what made me decide to look for a way to improve my self esteem.
I don't think there is anyone in this world who would want to have low self esteem. Sadly though, the factors that conjured to form this emotional issue is often beyond our control. Luckily, we have control over what we choose to do with the self-esteem that we have. You can either sulk with your low self esteem all your life or decide to work on improving it. But, you should bear in mind that improving your self esteem would take time and would require effort and dedication. There are so many things to do to successfully build up your self esteem, but here are the first three things you need to work on:
Wear clothes that fit you correctly.In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to disguise my body flaws by wearing baggy clothes. Have you? The truth is that wearing ill-fitting clothes only serves to accentuate the very areas you're trying to cover up. Those big, baggy T-shirts don't do any favours for most women. In fact, they make you look even bigger.Sometimes we squeeze ourselves into a pair of jeans (in the correct size) but they look terrible because of the cut. It is much better to buy a larger size and be comfortable. It's the fit not the size that matters.Be kind to yourself.Think about the things you tell yourself when you make a mistake. Would you say those same things to your friends? Probably not. When we make mistakes, we are often very hard on ourselves. Yet we treat other people much, much better. Next time this happens, stop and start talking to yourself as you would talk to a friend.Remind yourself often of your good qualities.Do you know what your best qualities are? Are you kind and compassionate? Do you treat people fairly? Are you a friendly person? Do you like to help people?
Unfortunately a small article can't do justice on the wide spectrum of creating a positive aura and developing a charismatic personality. You will get the complete picture and step by step explanations in Race Kale's new book "The Power of Charisma".Men's sense of self is more often tied to abilities, they are more into what they can do. Whereas a woman can get a quick boost from a personal compliment, for a man, a compliment about a skill or talent is likely to lead to that same boost quicker. Please don't mistake this to mean that men are not in tune with their inner selves, because many of them are. Many men have gone through the process of exploring the depth of their souls and come to appreciate who they are greatly. For those men, being able to see, appreciate and acknowledge that inner peace and confidence in him can go a long way. Of-course that would in most cases require knowing this person on deeper level and taking time to see those innermost qualities.
Start being more assertive. If you have formed the habit of putting aside your needs, thoughts and emotions in an effort to please or avoid upsetting other people, then you must stop that habit now. Being passive and putting the needs and rights of others above your own further damages your self-esteem. So start working on that ability to speak up and share what's on your mind and stop letting others push you around. Remember that what you think and feel is no less important than anyone else's.If you find yourself feeling like you're "in a rut" and not appreciating yourself as much as you should, there are simple changes you can make to improve self-confidence and take charge of your life again. Confidence affects every area of life, from relationships to the workplace. And improving your self-confidence will always have a beneficial effect on both your relationships with others, and your ability to handle the little ups and downs that life can throw at us from time to time.
To achieve an improved self-esteem is extremely important if you want to feel good about yourself and feel comfortable in social situations in which you are surrounded by different people. In addition, low self-esteem is capable of producing social anxiety, which gives you lots of problems to live a quiet and happy social life.The following 12 steps to improve self-esteem.Stop comparing with others. There will always be people who will have more things than you, and will always be people who have less than you. If you fall into that game of comparing yourself with people then you will always find "opponents" whom you will not be able to overcome.The important thing is to celebrate your individuality. Love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You are a person with much to offer. You should never feel neither superior nor inferior to others.Stop self-criticism. It's time to stop being hard on yourself. You will not be able to increase your self esteem if your internal dialogue is always hesitant about yourself and your abilities. Whether because of your appearance, your job, your relationships, your financial situation or any other aspect of your life, stop the negative inner dialogue that causing much damage and in most cases not is true.
Stop Trying so Hard. Improving confidence should not be about struggling. Give up trying to be a perfectionist, and give yourself permission to be a human being who will naturally make mistakes sometimes. A sure-fire way to feel inferior is to set the bar too high in every area of your life. Cut yourself some slack -- you deserve it.Focus Your Attention Outward. Lack of confidence often causes people to focus an inordinate amount of attention inward, on the "self." Make it a point to focus more attention on others than you do on yourself. Remember, confident people focus outward -- insecure people focus inward.
Avoid Energy Vampires. All of us know someone who seems to "suck the energy" out of a room just by entering. Give yourself permission to minimize contact with these people. Don't hate them or judge them in any way. Just recognize that they do not improve the quality of your life, and minimize your connection with them.Take a Chance. Try something new and different that you may have been apprehensive about in the past. Enroll in an adult education class, or join a book club, gym, bowling league or other social pastime. Shake up your life a little bit. The change will do you good, and your self-confidence will improve.
Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you an honest person? Do you like to share? You like to help and cooperate? Are you creative? Athletic? Be generous with yourself and write at least 20 positive characteristics about yourself. It is also important that the brush up frequently.Many people give in to their shortcomings and wonder constantly because their lives are not working the way they expected. Start focusing on your skills, live sure of yourself and then you have a better chance of getting things in life that you both want and deserve.
It is true that actions do speak louder than words, but words can also be very powerful. As a therapist, when working with children who were aggressive and getting into fights, I remember teaching them this statement "hands are for helping, not for hurting". They would memorize it and eventually we got to where they would say it either out loud or just think it when they were angry and wanted to hit someone. This technique took time but once mastered had a good success rate. Adults do get into the physical altercations as much but they can be hurtful with their words. Sometimes it is out of anger or just a purely unintentional slip, but once the words are out they cannot be put back in. The best measure is place a filter between the thought and the verbalization.Try this exercise that can be used with anyone in your life. When you get ready to say something take a moment to evaluate the potential impact of the words you are going to say. As you do this you will remind yourself "words are for helping, not for hurting". If you find that the words you were ready to utter are not going to help the person, take a second to find a more positive response before you speak. Use words to empower him. The intent should always be to build him back up, not bring him further down.
I don't think there is anyone in this world who would want to have low self esteem. Sadly though, the factors that conjured to form this emotional issue is often beyond our control. Luckily, we have control over what we choose to do with the self-esteem that we have. You can either sulk with your low self esteem all your life or decide to work on improving it. But, you should bear in mind that improving your self esteem would take time and would require effort and dedication. There are so many things to do to successfully build up your self esteem, but here are the first three things you need to work on:
Wear clothes that fit you correctly.In the past, I've made the mistake of trying to disguise my body flaws by wearing baggy clothes. Have you? The truth is that wearing ill-fitting clothes only serves to accentuate the very areas you're trying to cover up. Those big, baggy T-shirts don't do any favours for most women. In fact, they make you look even bigger.Sometimes we squeeze ourselves into a pair of jeans (in the correct size) but they look terrible because of the cut. It is much better to buy a larger size and be comfortable. It's the fit not the size that matters.Be kind to yourself.Think about the things you tell yourself when you make a mistake. Would you say those same things to your friends? Probably not. When we make mistakes, we are often very hard on ourselves. Yet we treat other people much, much better. Next time this happens, stop and start talking to yourself as you would talk to a friend.Remind yourself often of your good qualities.Do you know what your best qualities are? Are you kind and compassionate? Do you treat people fairly? Are you a friendly person? Do you like to help people?
Unfortunately a small article can't do justice on the wide spectrum of creating a positive aura and developing a charismatic personality. You will get the complete picture and step by step explanations in Race Kale's new book "The Power of Charisma".Men's sense of self is more often tied to abilities, they are more into what they can do. Whereas a woman can get a quick boost from a personal compliment, for a man, a compliment about a skill or talent is likely to lead to that same boost quicker. Please don't mistake this to mean that men are not in tune with their inner selves, because many of them are. Many men have gone through the process of exploring the depth of their souls and come to appreciate who they are greatly. For those men, being able to see, appreciate and acknowledge that inner peace and confidence in him can go a long way. Of-course that would in most cases require knowing this person on deeper level and taking time to see those innermost qualities.
Start being more assertive. If you have formed the habit of putting aside your needs, thoughts and emotions in an effort to please or avoid upsetting other people, then you must stop that habit now. Being passive and putting the needs and rights of others above your own further damages your self-esteem. So start working on that ability to speak up and share what's on your mind and stop letting others push you around. Remember that what you think and feel is no less important than anyone else's.If you find yourself feeling like you're "in a rut" and not appreciating yourself as much as you should, there are simple changes you can make to improve self-confidence and take charge of your life again. Confidence affects every area of life, from relationships to the workplace. And improving your self-confidence will always have a beneficial effect on both your relationships with others, and your ability to handle the little ups and downs that life can throw at us from time to time.
To achieve an improved self-esteem is extremely important if you want to feel good about yourself and feel comfortable in social situations in which you are surrounded by different people. In addition, low self-esteem is capable of producing social anxiety, which gives you lots of problems to live a quiet and happy social life.The following 12 steps to improve self-esteem.Stop comparing with others. There will always be people who will have more things than you, and will always be people who have less than you. If you fall into that game of comparing yourself with people then you will always find "opponents" whom you will not be able to overcome.The important thing is to celebrate your individuality. Love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You are a person with much to offer. You should never feel neither superior nor inferior to others.Stop self-criticism. It's time to stop being hard on yourself. You will not be able to increase your self esteem if your internal dialogue is always hesitant about yourself and your abilities. Whether because of your appearance, your job, your relationships, your financial situation or any other aspect of your life, stop the negative inner dialogue that causing much damage and in most cases not is true.
Stop Trying so Hard. Improving confidence should not be about struggling. Give up trying to be a perfectionist, and give yourself permission to be a human being who will naturally make mistakes sometimes. A sure-fire way to feel inferior is to set the bar too high in every area of your life. Cut yourself some slack -- you deserve it.Focus Your Attention Outward. Lack of confidence often causes people to focus an inordinate amount of attention inward, on the "self." Make it a point to focus more attention on others than you do on yourself. Remember, confident people focus outward -- insecure people focus inward.
Avoid Energy Vampires. All of us know someone who seems to "suck the energy" out of a room just by entering. Give yourself permission to minimize contact with these people. Don't hate them or judge them in any way. Just recognize that they do not improve the quality of your life, and minimize your connection with them.Take a Chance. Try something new and different that you may have been apprehensive about in the past. Enroll in an adult education class, or join a book club, gym, bowling league or other social pastime. Shake up your life a little bit. The change will do you good, and your self-confidence will improve.
Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you an honest person? Do you like to share? You like to help and cooperate? Are you creative? Athletic? Be generous with yourself and write at least 20 positive characteristics about yourself. It is also important that the brush up frequently.Many people give in to their shortcomings and wonder constantly because their lives are not working the way they expected. Start focusing on your skills, live sure of yourself and then you have a better chance of getting things in life that you both want and deserve.
It is true that actions do speak louder than words, but words can also be very powerful. As a therapist, when working with children who were aggressive and getting into fights, I remember teaching them this statement "hands are for helping, not for hurting". They would memorize it and eventually we got to where they would say it either out loud or just think it when they were angry and wanted to hit someone. This technique took time but once mastered had a good success rate. Adults do get into the physical altercations as much but they can be hurtful with their words. Sometimes it is out of anger or just a purely unintentional slip, but once the words are out they cannot be put back in. The best measure is place a filter between the thought and the verbalization.Try this exercise that can be used with anyone in your life. When you get ready to say something take a moment to evaluate the potential impact of the words you are going to say. As you do this you will remind yourself "words are for helping, not for hurting". If you find that the words you were ready to utter are not going to help the person, take a second to find a more positive response before you speak. Use words to empower him. The intent should always be to build him back up, not bring him further down.
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